Kent
Stevenson was led to the movies with his wife. They were married for 20 years.
The film which was led by love. Upon leaving, his wife said, "Kent , you never
make love to me as did those actors. Why? "Stevenson replied," Are
you crazy? You know how those actors were paid to do such things? "
People live beside each other, but not love. Love not only
where you can get some benefit from your love. How can you love someone if you
expect to get anything from it? Love becomes a commodity. It is no longer a
relationship, a partnership, a celebration. Not happy when you're next to each
other; the more you tolerate.
Kent Stevenson's wife was dying. Kent 's doctor
told him: "Stevenson, must be honest with you; In such moments, it is best
to be honest. Your wife can not be saved. The disease has advanced too much, so
we have to be prepared. Try not suffer accept fatality. This is your destiny.
Your wife will die. " Stevenson replied: "Do not worry, doctor. If we
suffer with her for so many years, I can endure a few hours! "
We, at most, tolerate each other.
And when you think in terms of tolerance, life in couple becomes suffering.
This explains why Jean-Paul Sartre said that other means hell with him ... for
you only to suffer, you are dominated. The other worry you and you lose your
freedom and happiness. Life in the couple becomes a routine, something to be
supported. If you just tolerate each other, how can you know the beauty of life
together? It's impossible.
Marriage means celebration couple
life. It can not be reduced to a certificate. No civil status office can not
give you a marriage, any priest can not do this but. The marriage means a huge
revolution in terms of being a huge transformation of the mode of life that can
not occur unless the state celebrate together if the other is not simply
another, if you're not just you. The two are no longer two, there was a bridge
between them, they have become one. From the physical point of view, they
remain two, but in terms of their inner being, they become one. Maybe they are
the two poles of existence, but their existence is one. A bridge appeared.
It is very rare to encounter a
true marriage. People live together because it's more convenient. This is the
main reason for joining. Living alone is not at all profitable. Spend more.
That's why most people get married. Their motives are negative.
A man would marry. A friend
asked, "You were always against marriage. How come you changed your mind? "The
man replied:" Winter is approaching and is likely to be very cold. Heating
costs beyond me and my wife find a cheaper ".
This is the logic. Live each other because it is more
comfortable, more convenient, cheaper. To live alone is really hard. A wife you
can solve so many things. I can do housework, you can cook, can be a maid, a
housekeeper - so many. She is the cheapest labor in the world. Makes so much
without being paid at all. Marriage is a form of exploitation, not an act of
communion. Therefore, normally it does not lead to happiness. No way. How might
arise from the roots of flower nectar exploitation?
There are also so-called your
saints, which states that you are unhappy because you live in the
family, in
the outside world. They say, "Give up everything, leave everything."
Their logic seems fair, but it's not really so, but because ye have known
communion. If you know happiness through communion and you mock the saints. Who
knew the happiness of the communion, who has known the true marriage, to know
love, that is the most direct path to divinity. But you do not know the
communion and live together without knowing what this means; live in this way
for 70-80 years without knowing what life is. Lost without taking root in the
fertile soil of life. Move from one moment to the next without any savor.
Science of living life gives you
no birth; it is not hereditary. Life appears with the birth, but wisdom,
experience, ecstasy be learned. That is why I insist so much on meditation.
Taste of life must be learned. You have to grow, to mature so you can live.
Life can not be known until maturity. But you live and die like children. Do
not increase again. Do not reach maturity.
What is maturity? Being baked in sexually mature does not
mean to be. Ask the psychologists: they claim that adult mental development
stops at 13-14. The physical body continues to grow, but the mind stops its
growth at the age of 13-14 years old. No wonder that you are behaving foolishly
so that your life is just a long string of mischief! A mind that has not grown
not only nonsense.
An immature mind will always
throw the responsibility on others. You feel unhappy and you are convinced that
you are so because those with whom you live to make your life hell. "The
other is hell." In my opinion, this statement is very immature Sartre. For
a grown man, the other can become as good and heaven. In fact, it is what you
are, because he is not only mirror in which you look. When I say mature, I mean
a certain inner integrity. This will not only appear when you stop longer make
others responsible for your suffering, you start to understand that you are
solely responsible for them. This is the first step towards adulthood: I am
responsible; whatever happens, I am guilty.
If you feel sad, ask yourself:
"Whose fault is that?" If you accept that it is your fault, sooner or
later you will cease to do many things that we do today. In fact, this is the
essence of the ancient theory of karma. You are solely responsible. Stop saying
that society is responsible, because your parents are to blame, that the
economic situation has brought on this state; do not throw the responsibility
on others. You are solely responsible. At first, you may find it a burden
because you can not blame anyone else. But should you assume ...
Kent Stevenson Someone asked:
"Why are you so sad?" Kent
said: "My wife insisted not to play cards and other games, not to smoke
and not to drink. I gave up all these things. " To which the man replied,
"Your wife must be very happy now." Stevenson: "That's the
problem. Now there's nothing to complain about, so it's very unfortunate. Now
he can not make me responsible for her unhappiness. I thought if I renounce all
these things a happier to see her, but became more unhappy than ever. "
Our minds love to complain and
throw the responsibility on others, for in this way feel good, do not feel
responsible. But this release is very expensive. She is not real, on the
contrary, the burden is becoming greater and greater, without us realizing it.
People live without knowing what
life is. They did not reach adulthood do not integrate are not centered. They
live only on the periphery. If your periphery meets the periphery of others,
clashes are inevitable. On the other hand, if you are always concerned about
other people's mistakes, you can not live only on the periphery. If you realize
that 'I am solely responsible for my existence; I am the reason that caused
this, "then your consciousness suddenly move from the periphery to the
center. Only now starting to become the center of your existence. From now you
can do many things. If you do not like something, you can discard it; if you
like something, you can adopt. If you find something real, you can follow; if
you feel that is not true, you can avoid it, because now you are centered and
rooted within you.
Always remember that when you are
with someone could be the last time. Do not waste time with nonsense; do not
create conflicts and fights for minor reasons. When death is approaching,
nothing matters. If someone says or does something that annoys you, remember
death. Think that this man is about to die. Who cares if the words or deeds?
Maybe not even had the intention to annoy; maybe it's just your interpretation.
Of 100 cases, 99 are rather personal interpretation.
And remember: when you are with
someone, it is not the one we knew before, because everything changes. You can
not enter the same river twice and can not meet the same person twice. You can
meet with father, mother, brothers, your friends, but they are not the same;
They have changed. Nothing stays the same. And you've changed, you are no
longer the same ... If you remember these two things, love will flourish more
easily in you. When you meet someone, do it as if it first. Do it, however, as
it would be for the last time. For these things are so. If you have this
perspective, this little moment of the meeting will get incredibly deep
significance.
When the body's energy increases
sexual energy turns and changes its quality. The need for sex is becoming
smaller and smaller, and the need for love getting bigger. When facing down
energy turns into sex, and it goes up into love. But do not expect to occur.
Dear increasingly more people. Get a wasteful with
your love. Love your
friends, love even strangers. Love the trees and stones. Important is to love.
If you sit on a rock and live a feeling of love for it, you will find that
stone will respond. You feel it almost immediately. Stone no longer a simple
stone. Tap a tree with love and you will find that it will respond in kind. The
tree you will love it. Love what you are doing. Even when you eat, eat loving; chew
food with love. When you take a shower, feel the water falling on your body and
answer them with love and gratitude - for sacred is everywhere and everything
is sacred. When you understand that everything is sacred, you will not yearn
for love, for it will flow over you everywhere.
When you love, you're full of
joy. When you can not love, you like to be happy. Joy is a function of love,
its shadow. It is love everywhere. Therefore, open your ever more to love and
become increasingly happier. There will be interest you if your love is
returned; this does not matter. Happiness is love everywhere. Love is intrinsic
value. It does not depend on other answer but entirely yours. No matter what
and whom you love: it can be a dog, a cat, a stone, a tree. Sit next to a cliff
with a loving attitude. Think of stone. Comforted her and sit on it. Feel one
with it and suddenly you will feel a surge of energy coupled with immense joy.
Perhaps the stone will not respond to love - or maybe it did; this does not
matter. The fact is that your love has generated this wave of happiness. Who
loves is happy. If you understand this secret, you can be happy all day. If you
are full of love for 24 hours, no longer depend on an object of love, you
become more independent, because you can love without anyone being present. You
can love even gap around you. If you are alone in the room, you'll fill your
love. If you are in a prison, you will be transformed into a temple. From the
moment in which you fill with love, it will not be a prison. Conversely, a
temple can become a prison if not filled with love.
Jealousy is very complicated. It
contains many ingredients. Cowardice is one of them, selfishness is another.
Desire is not love but monopolizing possession, a tendency to be competitive
and a deeply rooted fear of being inferior ... Many things are included in
jealousy. You love a person - or at least you think you love ... If you really
love, jealousy is impossible. If you see that a person loves someone else, you
will be blessed: and this is the person you love happy with someone else:
everything you want is for her to be happy. Do not you feel jealous / jealous,
but on the contrary, grateful person that makes you happy loved ... This is
true love - a rare species. For most people, love is to possess that person.
You "love" a person and that means that person must not love anyone
else. If it does, insults you, you show that you are inferior, that there are
better people, more loved than you. That hurts your ego, possessiveness hurts
you, hurts you wish to monopolize. In essence, it is cowardice for not trying
to face reality honestly, directly. The problem is not that man loves you loved
someone else, but if you really love that person. If you love her, nothing
matters.
Love gives freedom. Love allows
any man feels he wants to be able to do. If you love a person, not interfering
with her privacy. Not being break. Do not you want her to give an account of
where she was. Not better. It's her life you love a person and so is she. Do
not violate your privacy. Do not open the letters, do not look through her
pockets in her diary, address book with phone numbers. Do not try to look for
clues. All of these are bad things. You have to accept reality. If you do not,
you coward. And to hide your cowardice, doing case of jealousy. In reality, you
have problems, just your ideas get you in trouble. I can not conceive that if
two people really love each other, quarreling ever for any reason, try to
impose to try to stop the other from what he wants to do.
And then we wonder: why poets
have written so many beautiful things about love? - Because nothing seems to
happen in reality! Love exists only in poetry. The truth is that most poets
have ever loved. They are in love with the idea of love and create beautiful
stories. Or maybe they loved, but failed, so as to console, create the opposite
situation in their poems. It's as compensation. In life they missed, so I wrote
translate into fantasy that he wanted to live real, to forget the ugliness of
their lives. So be loved poets do not and never have known the agony of love,
or have known her agony and ecstasy wanted to know.
Cowardice is tormenting you.
Simply, faces the reality. If you love a man, then there conditions. If you
love him, then who are you to put conditions? If you love him, you love him as
if not love him, no problem - he is the one for you, so what conditions to put
them? He can do anything he wants to do. But you have to analyze your feelings
honestly. And direct encounter with your own feelings will show you the way.
Just trying to see what really feel for each other and jealousy will disappear.
In most cases, with jealousy, and love disappears. But that's a good thing
because what's the point of the part of a jealous love, which really is not
love? But if jealousy disappears and love remains consistent when you have
something that is worth living.''
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